My Little Ballerina's.....

Yesterday Scarlett and Lily had their Ballet Recital, It's their second year at ballet and last year Lil was very upset and frightened at the prospect of being dropped of at the theatre without mama (this is surprising as Lil is usually quite brave in these situations and Scarlett freaks out) anyway this year my girls and all of the littlies were so excited, they had so many questions,  there was so much noise and anticipation "do we go up yet Miss?"  "Excuse me, when can we put this (bright red lipstick) on?"  (only one little sweetie attempted this herself) and  yes I got called Miss and Renee and Mum!??  I just loved it it's such an exciting day, these little angels are so brave and cute and the older girls are so beautiful and nurturing as they pop down to admire the cuteness, taffeta and make-up everywhere amongst the 4 & 5 year olds.

I am most definitely "one of those Mums" although I'm modest out loud, inside I am bursting at the seams!!!  I've never been so proud seeing my baby girls so excited and independent for a moment as they go out on stage.  It's their thing, we as Mama's  only watch them at the end of each term on viewing day so its very exciting for the families to see the big performance.  I have tears in my eyes each and every time I watch them dance if I was alone those tears would wet my face.  

My sister in law is a dancer and my mother in law was very involved and adored the ballet as do I and so it's a family thing for us also, I know my beautiful mother in law watches these little angels from heaven with a proud tear in her eye.

Ands so now we enjoy a break from buns and tutu's, they will be replaced with bathers, salty hair and tanned skin.  xx   

A little bit of lately.....

Sunny for a day or two and then fireplace roaring, t-shirts and sunscreen and than chicken  soup cooking on the stove.  Yes summer is teasing us although we are all hopeful that it shall soon be lovely and warm....regularly.
 Christmas to do lists are on fire.  Last year I made a recycled fabric wreath for our door and I received some lovely feedback and so this year I'm sewing an advent calendar and also some Christmas tree decorations, I will take some photo's once they're under way!  I've also  started Christmas shopping and I'm sticking to a budget this year, does anybody else find that once they start they cannot stop?!!  We have a lot of social commitments of late which is fun and keeps us busy until Ben returns home, also a kinder concert in a couple of weeks and Saturday is the girls Ballet recital which I'm more excited about than them...almost.
 The kids, myself and my Dad went to a Christmas Fete on Sunday, a beautiful day so relaxing, the kids overdosed on sugar and played with the animals and rode go-carts Eddy was deliberately trying to clip the edge of the witches hat  with the wheel of the go-cart and while concentrating so hard on lining it up he rode over everything in his path including the attendant and most of the inflatable boundary.  The entire crowd was in hysterics while my  little boy caused complete chaos on the track.  I had a few photo's to upload of the day however my computer decided the images were not video or photo and could not be uploaded.
My leg update is so so, I was beginning to feel as though  I'd been beaten  by the pain, I was having to take painkillers twice a day for 5 days and this was upsetting me sooo much, I'm definitely a "let your body fight it" type of girl I even managed to birth my beautiful boy without any assistance.  Mum suggested a tubey thing (it's like a tight bandage) and blow me down it works, no more sharp pain or throbbing, no more waking at 4am no more crying while doing the dishes (a crazy day and painful and then the dog ate two more of our pet chickens!)  Yep I was losing that battle for a while, point being listen to your Mums!!
We are all well and happy though looking after each other and feeling quite inspired by the (slow) change in seasons, I'm trying to do little bits and pieces in the garden and dreaming of Christmas feasts and creative nibbles for all of those picnics and drinks in the summery future!  We are yet to build our mud kitchen in the garden, once my leg heals there are many things I'd like to catch up on but meanwhile being forced to slow down and sew (for example) is really, really good for me and almost what I've needed. xx

I would like to...

Be within the first twenty women to finish a fun run.
Learn to use our Nikon manually
Be pregnant next year,
Be a peaceful, happy mama everyday
Find the time to indulge in more creative activities
Grow a flourishing veggie garden
Watch my daughters dance in their end of year recital
Be there for my husband
Have a big messy Christmas full of family, wrapping paper, food and laughter
Sew some curtains
Remember all of my childrens funny and inquisitive moments
Hold my husband tight

One happy day from many on our recent camping trip.........

Nethercote Falls, Pambula  NSW

                                     

                                     

                                      

                                      

                                      

                                      

A couple of months ago......

     As the wind blew a little warmer and the spring flowers started to bloom all over our property I said to my husband  "there's a change in the air".  And yes we have come to accept some good changes that we have control over or have talked about and "planned" and those that make me feel as though I am  free falling...without a parachute.
 If you know me well you will know that once in awhile I fall apart I feel overcome I will shout or cry or both and then just as quickly.....peace, calm and strength return.  Sometimes I do this on my own other times its crying to my mum or sisters and many times it's close to my husband so that he can catch me without judgement.
 I am a very sensitive person, also an optimist however there are times that I'm not.  I am a hard worker and quite content however every now and again I feel under pressure, a little scared...no fight left.  Sometimes I don't believe in my abilities enough for them to drive me forward.
  I wish that I was smarter......   I've only mentioned this to a close  few as it really embarrasses me to my core.  It prevents me from taking on new roles and following my dreams.  I have a  terrible memory, I wish that I could remember ten names off  the bat, that I could read an article and remember content and dates accurately....but I cannot. And so I try to avoid situations where I am required to recall information, I don't study, the idea of a trivia night scares the hell out of me, I used to shy from meeting new people and I don't seem to follow particular dreams. I am restricted by fear even though I teach my children not to fear anything and that if they do to challenge it....face it.
And so with this warm spring scented wind I am accepting my dreams with a touch of reality, I am taking them seriously and wondering "what if" rather than "maybe one day".  There's a shift in my focus, our focus, my husband and I.  I am challenging my fears ever so slightly.  xx