My darlings are in bed, they've been asleep now for nearly two hours I've just been down to check on them and they've not moved. Last night Mum and Dad came for dinner which was lovely and relaxed although Mr S did not want to go to bed he's so stubborn and yet so gorgeous. When he's fighting the idea of sleep we have a little routine, if that fails I put him to bed once again and then after closing the door (he sleeps with it closed) I wait in the room with him until he gives in and snuggles into bed. I usually sit in the rocking chair trying not to count the minutes although I've had to stand lately as he's been getting on my lap, I don't want to get into the habit of rocking him to sleep no matter how lovely it is. So Mr S is snuggling into my legs as little ones do, chatting away and eventually asking "why aren't you speaking to me mummy?" followed by "mummy I love you, I love you, why aren't you answering me" so once again I repeat that it's time to sleep and once he's in bed I'll tuck him in. Three times he walked towards his bed and then turned away at the last minute "stubborn!" Eventually he snuggled down and we had our kisses and our "how much I love you's" and then half asleep my three year old said to me "mummy I'm sorry I hit you before" tears welled up in my eyes as they are now. My beautiful boy did throw a tantrum earlier and did whack me gently though surprisingly in the face as a result. Now just before sleep he's thinking of what he'd done and is saying sorry to me, oh melt my heart I would go through it all again for that moment with my handsome boy.
It had been a funny few days before this highlight, I've mentioned before at times I feel as though the children are getting a little cheeky, not listening or doing what is asked of them, and Mr S seemed to be crying in protest more regularly, I was lacking patience and tolerance at times. I wish I was always my calm, happy self that's how I would describe myself although some days its as though I've run out. I'm now recording these days to see if it's hormonal. If so can anything be done? Damn those hormones honestly don't we women have enough to deal with!
It had been a funny few days before this highlight, I've mentioned before at times I feel as though the children are getting a little cheeky, not listening or doing what is asked of them, and Mr S seemed to be crying in protest more regularly, I was lacking patience and tolerance at times. I wish I was always my calm, happy self that's how I would describe myself although some days its as though I've run out. I'm now recording these days to see if it's hormonal. If so can anything be done? Damn those hormones honestly don't we women have enough to deal with!
Anyhow my point is that today compared to the previous three was easy and flowing, a normal good day. And this is how it began....I was awake lying in bed wishing I could make the children breakfast and myself a coffee and crawl back under the covers with my book, although I had my group training session that I do love. Right at that moment "bang crash!!!!! Time to get up. As I got to the kitchen the girls almost started crying worried looks on their faces "mummy it just..." Oh those angels, they'd decided to put away the groceries that had not yet been put away and after a few to many heavy items on the top shelf of the fridge the shelf slipped out, ooops.... I hugged my darlings what a sweet sweet gesture, I was so proud of them and as I looked up from our cuddle I noticed the large box of fruit that they'd unpacked high into the fruit basket a beautiful colourful prism. Bless them...
I am often upset with my efforts as a mum I find some parts come easily and other parts or times are such a struggle, sometimes I'm so riddled with guilt and other times I'm cruising along dreaming of another! Looking back on moments like these though I'm thinking at this moment that its okay and that they are beautiful, caring children and Its not so bad the job that I'm doing, at this moment.....x
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