A couple of months ago......

     As the wind blew a little warmer and the spring flowers started to bloom all over our property I said to my husband  "there's a change in the air".  And yes we have come to accept some good changes that we have control over or have talked about and "planned" and those that make me feel as though I am  free falling...without a parachute.
 If you know me well you will know that once in awhile I fall apart I feel overcome I will shout or cry or both and then just as quickly.....peace, calm and strength return.  Sometimes I do this on my own other times its crying to my mum or sisters and many times it's close to my husband so that he can catch me without judgement.
 I am a very sensitive person, also an optimist however there are times that I'm not.  I am a hard worker and quite content however every now and again I feel under pressure, a little scared...no fight left.  Sometimes I don't believe in my abilities enough for them to drive me forward.
  I wish that I was smarter......   I've only mentioned this to a close  few as it really embarrasses me to my core.  It prevents me from taking on new roles and following my dreams.  I have a  terrible memory, I wish that I could remember ten names off  the bat, that I could read an article and remember content and dates accurately....but I cannot. And so I try to avoid situations where I am required to recall information, I don't study, the idea of a trivia night scares the hell out of me, I used to shy from meeting new people and I don't seem to follow particular dreams. I am restricted by fear even though I teach my children not to fear anything and that if they do to challenge it....face it.
And so with this warm spring scented wind I am accepting my dreams with a touch of reality, I am taking them seriously and wondering "what if" rather than "maybe one day".  There's a shift in my focus, our focus, my husband and I.  I am challenging my fears ever so slightly.  xx